


I Never Told You

by bad_grammar (transience)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 16:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2198121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transience/pseuds/bad_grammar





	I Never Told You

Akashi remembers blue. The blue of his Teiko blouse, of his Rakuzan jersey. But more importantly, the blue of Kuroko’s expressionless eyes that sees all, perhaps more than his own emperor eye in a way, and the blue of Kuroko’s hair, styled almost identically to his own. His very existence seems to mirror and ccomplement Akashi’s, Kuroko follows in the shadows, while Akashi leads in the light. Kuroko burns steady and cold, while Akashi is a bright flame, red hot and sparking. And Akashi misses that blue.

_Even as Akashi feels clear blue eyes boring into his back, he doesn't tell Tetsuya._

Akashi misses the steady breaths he would hear from the teen that slept so still he would have thought him dead if Akashi hadn’t known better. He misses the way they would breathe in sync, a symphony of their own. He misses the comforting, familiar weight on the other side of the ~~King~~ Emperor-sized bed. He misses the feel of the sunrise as it shines through the window and bathed their faces in light, he misses opening his eyes to a smile, so small yet so sincere he could almost taste it, a smile that shone almost as bright as the sunrise itself.

_Even as Akashi holds Tetsuya’s hand in his, he keeps his feelings hidden, his features schooled into his usual mask. He never once told Tetsuya._

Akashi closes his eyes, and still he sees blue. He sees the blue of the phantom so clearly, and how could he not when the Phantom shone brighter than most to the Emperor? And every fist bump Aomine gives, every time Kise clings to him, every pass Midorima takes, every time Murasakibara ruffles that blue hair sends pangs of so many feelings coursing through Akashi’s veins. Akashi almost lets his mask slip many times, and it is only the countless years of training that he stops himself from looking so lost and ungrounded whenever the blue-haired teen is not in sight.

_Even as Akashi ignores the questioning glances the Phantom sends him, his hands dribbling the ball almost automatically with undeniable dexterity, he doesn’t tell Tetsuya._

Akashi chanced upon them at the park one day, saw it all as Aomine kissed a shocked Kuroko on the park bench beneath the tree that wept flowers. Akashi walks away, not catching the concerned looks from a very perspective bluenette.

And Akashi regrets everytime he kept it in, every moment of silence that he could have, no, should have said something. But now it is too late, and Akashi realises it. Tetsuya is gone, and even as the memories of them together replay in his mind (the gym, misdirection, the surprise, the admiration, the sleep overs, the comfortable silences, the brief touches, the small smiles) he accepts that for once, it is his mistake, his fault, for letting the Shadow slip from his light.

_**Things Akashi Seijuuro knows:** _

_One, I love Kuroko Tetsuya_

_Two, I miss Kuroko Tetsuya_

_Three, Kuroko Tetsuya is never going to come back_

_Four, I should have told Tetsuya_

_Five, I can’t tell Tetsuya, not now, not ever_


End file.
